did you get engaged???
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
