Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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