Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize