Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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