Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.