I didn't shave. On purpose
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not