All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian