Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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