Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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