very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
