Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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