I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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