you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i came on her dog
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
