That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Someone signed my nipple.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
