when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
