perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
