I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.