Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
