i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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