I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
