I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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