It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
