Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize