thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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