he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
