She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
