with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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