jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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