There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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