i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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