I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
