I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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