She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
