Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys