I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem