My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me