i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
