my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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