I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
