The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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