This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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