The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
