I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
