Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
