and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you didnt know i had herpes?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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