I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
