you're like a bully in the Christmas story
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
