Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
we're so committed to being not committed
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
