So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
