i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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