i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
