never play flip cup with pint glasses
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am mentally ready for anal.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
