I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
