It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she peed on how many people?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
