check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
