question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
