nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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