If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf