Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize