sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.