I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
