..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
