There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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