Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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