Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
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I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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